I sat in her car speechless. My mouth filled with ash, was dry and I couldn’t speak. She asked again ‘what do you think of me now?’ If she had asked me 30 minutes ago, I knew what my answer would have been.
I would have said: I think you are the most beautiful face I have ever seen. That the first day we spoke was the best day of my life and each day since I had felt nothing but admiration for you. I would have said that you are very mean to everyone else but you treat me like a king and that makes me feel really special. That every time I look into your beautiful brown eyes, I feel my heart beat faster than I ever felt possible. Most importantly, when we kissed two days ago, I knew there was no one else I wanted to hold in these arms of mine. I know when our lips touched, I acted cool like I get kissed all the time but before that moment, and I had never kissed an angel before. I knew then that I could live the rest of my life worshiping you, adoring you and loving everything about you.
I knew you had a secret, something that made you withdraw from the world. I knew you had a secret, something you held back with your words but your eyes hinted. I always felt nothing could shake how I felt but I didn’t know I would care. Now that I know what the secret is, should I understand or should I take this opportunity to flee?
I understood why you seemed angry all the time. I could say you lived your life only for others. You traded your flesh to meet the needs of your family. You lay with strangers to give them a roof to live under. Yet not until you told me would I have guessed you carried such a hefty burden. I wanted to say that I wanted to take away your every care but I couldn’t. I wanted to hold you tight and tell you that I would never leave even if you chased me with a stick but my lips couldn’t part. I wanted to be your prince charming and save you but I sheath my sword.
You ask once more, ‘what do you think of me now?’
I stay silent.
